Monday, December 8, 2008

Marc Dreier Lets Us Down

I suppose we should feel bad for Marc Dreier. He's the founder and head honcho at Dreier LLP, just up the road from us. And he just got popped for some kind of serious criminal misconduct. Something about dressing up as a union lawyer or a drag queen (who can tell the difference anyway).

But we don't feel bad for him. He had it coming. So do we of course. But we've been getting away with plenty of crap Dreier hasn't even thought of, and we'll keep getting away with it.

Just look at his firm website for an example of what they do wrong. Here are some quotes from their "overview" page:

Dreier LLP is a unique group of talented lawyers and remarkable people who have joined in a professional enterprise vigorously dedicated to advancing our clients' objectives.

Stop lying dammit! We're in this for ourselves. Sure some clients think we're helping them, but most are savvy enough to know we're just using them to steal someone else's money. As long as they get a bit along the way, they're happy.

We are not just an association of attorneys but a collaboration of attorneys, who typically had built successful practices elsewhere but sought in Dreier LLP a more current, more resourceful, more supportive environment to maximize their abilities and results.

What kind of nonsense is that? Association? Collaboration? We're all part of one big conspiracy really.

We look for and give our clients every opportunity and advantage to meet their goals. We look to foster their success and share in their success. We believe we are our clients' most important allies.

They just keep getting it backwards. We foster our own success and if a little bit trickles down to the clients, they're lucky they get something. And we're not their allies. They need us and that's all there is to it. If they could get by without us they'd drop us in a heartbeat.

We are a law firm that is relevant to whatever our clients are doing or hoping for.

That's not bad. Maybe it's good marketing or something.

But Marc Dreier showed everyone what it's really all about. Good lawyers get in position to steal hundreds of millions of dollars. His problem is he's only a good lawyer. Great lawyers get away with it. Welcome to Dewey Cheatham & Howe.